Autism and toileting - how to help your child

Toilet training can be a challenge at the best of times, and for many autistic children and their parents, this is especially true. There are often additional factors to consider when your child is autistic.

Autistic children may experience sensory overload which means they may respond negatively to the feel of a toilet seat, bright lights, or noisy hand-dryers. It can help to try to find ways to change what you can, such as removing a bright light to one with a dimmer bulb, putting a cover on the toilet seat, or avoiding public toilets with noisy hand-dryers.

Sudden changes to accepted routines can be really hard autistic children. Explaining the new routine well before you try to implement it might help. Get your child’s buy-in to the new routine, with set times, routes to the toilet, one step following the other and rewards if appropriate. Use a toileting chart, so children can see when the task ends.

S**ocial dos & don’ts are probably irrelevant. **Autistic children will probably not be concerned if they are told this is the way everyone goes to the toilet. Explain the process in a way that will make sense to them.

**Use literal language. **If you tell your autistic child that sitting on the toilet will mean they are now a big girl or boy, they may take this to mean they will actually grow larger! Just stick to the facts.

**Communication needs. **Some autistic children don’t use verbal language. They may rely on visual cues or sign language to help them know what to do. A favourite toy can help demonstrate how to use the potty or toilet.

**Constipation **is quite common amongst autistic children, sometimes because of restricted diets. You will need specialist advice on how to deal with this.

Associated learning problems – you may need to be extra patient with your child as they master each step of the toileting journey. Use the same strategies that you have found to be successful with your child for learning other skills.

**The need to control can be hard to manage. **It may be important for your child to control certain aspects of the process. For example, they may want to sit on the toilet backwards – this is okay if they can do it safely and still poo or wee in the bowl!

Some children perceive poo or wee as a loss, as it’s something their body made. Reassure your child that their body is doing what it is supposed to do and is something to celebrate!

Some children are concerned about getting messy or soiled and wish to be naked in the toilet. Let them do so when at home, but gradually re-introduce clothing, one item at a time, starting with socks.

If you are struggling with any or some of the issues listed here, just remember, be kind to yourself and your child. With a bit of patience and acceptance you will both get there in the end.

Meryl Richards

I’m Meryl Richards. What a pleasure it’s been to join the Awhi team. I get to spend my days researching information that supports me as a parent, and sometimes challenges me to rethink what I thought I knew. My hope is that it will be useful to you too. I live in Kapiti with my partner and two teenage boys, and spend as much time as possible in the surrounding bush and at the beach.