Help! How can I teach my teenager that good hygiene is important?
Most of us like to keep relatively clean and tidy because it builds our self-esteem and makes us feel good. We also usually care what other people think of us, and we know good hygiene is important for maintaining good health.
Often, we developed those good hygiene skills when we were teenagers, when along with an awareness of our changing bodies we became interested in sex and romance.
But not all teenagers develop this awareness, or the motivation to learn about and maintain good hygiene. Disabled and neurodivergent teenagers are more likely than most to be unaware of the social rules around good hygiene, and sometimes to struggle with acquiring the necessary skills.
Which is why it often comes down to those of us who care about them to help our kids with a few helpful pointers and reinforcement along the way.
Many parents of disabled children devise their own sex and relationship education programme that they can teach at home, which meets their child’s particular learning style and needs.
If so, a key component of that programme should be on personal care – dressing, showering, using deodorant, oral hygiene, how to shave, managing your period, dealing with acne, wet dreams. It should also include advice on avoiding certain behaviours in public, such as picking your nose, spots, or teeth or scratching an itchy crotch or butt!
Use teaching techniques that have worked with your child before – breaking down tasks into smaller steps, providing lots of opportunities for practice, praising them for every achievement, no matter how small and providing meaningful rewards.
Also think about the most effective way of communicating with your child – they may benefit from visual reminders and include pictures of any new additions to their cleaning routine – for example – include pictures of deodorants, shavers, sanitary pads – whatever is relevant.
Getting your child’s buy-in to their new routine can be made easier if you give them choice over the new products to use – for example, let them choose the deodorant they want, whether it’s because they love the picture on the outside of the bottle, or they adore the way it smells.
For some children, especially autistic children, sensory issues may interfere with establishing good hygiene habits. It is quite common for autistic children to dislike the feeling of water from a showerhead on their skin. The solution may be to drop the water-pressure in your showerhead, or for your child to have baths instead. Sensory issues may also interfere with period management – limiting or exaggerating your child’s inclination to change their sanitary product.
For more on this topic check out the Awhi article- How can I help my disabled child manage their periods?
It can also be an issue for disabled and/or neurodivergent children that they are unaware or indifferent to the social rules around hygiene, as well as the health implications. Most parents, however, will be acutely aware that disabled children are subject to more judgement and scrutiny than other children, and so it becomes even more important to reinforce good grooming and hygiene.
Not all children will be able to grasp or practice all the aspects of a good personal self-care routine but do as much as you can to instill those skills that they can learn. Others will be acutely aware of the barriers to managing their own self-care, such as a physical impediment, and are likely to be frustrated by this barrier to their independence.
For all teens, as they grow and develop, improving their ability to manage intimate tasks themselves, will improve their self-esteem and sense of autonomy.
For those children requiring an intimate care plan, check out the Awhi article My child is going through puberty – what is appropriate for their intimate care plan?
Finally, remember, there are some fundamental objectives to a good personal care programme:
- Teach and reinforce skills for good hygiene practices.
- Help your child understand the social rules that underpin good grooming and hygiene.
- Reinforce the concept of public and private behaviour – for example, it is okay to comb your hair in public, but it is not okay to change your tampon with the toilet door open.
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thelowdown.co.nz , Web chat, email chat or free text 5626
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