How can I help my disabled and/or neurodivergent child manage their periods? It's a question we get a lot.

Puberty is an inevitability for children of all genders. If children are not expecting them, the onset of periods can be frightening, so advance warning is needed.

 If your child is disabled and/or neurodivergent there are added factors to consider.

 For example, if your child has difficulty learning new processes or routines, they may need your help to practice using menstrual products such as sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual cups, periods underwear and panty liners.

 Use techniques that have helped your child acquire new skills previously – repetition, breaking tasks down into smaller steps, visual reminders, and the use of picture books, DVDs and social stories.

 It is important also if your child is non-speaking that they have communication aides to let your or others know if they need pain relief or assistance.

 If your child is neurodivergent, they may experience periods differently to neurotypical people. Potentially, they could experience their period as a ‘loss’.

 Use concrete terms to explain to your child that a period is their body’s way of keeping itself healthy, as it cleans out its womb every month.

 Neurodivergent children might have sensory issues or difficulties with interoception. This may have an effect on the menstrual products they use and how they use them. For example, hyposensitive children, who are indifferent to strong smells, may need to be taught the importance of changing their pads regularly. Conversely, those with a heightened sensitivity to smells, may need to be encouraged not to change their menstrual products too often, or they may prefer to use tampons over pads.

 Reduced interoception may also mean children need reminders to replace menstrual products, as they can be unaware of the wet or heavy sensation of a period product that needs replacing.  

Other common concerns:

Children may be concerned that they will be considered ‘dirty’. Reassure them that periods are a sign their body is healthy and working as it should.

Also let them know not to worry if their friends start their periods before or after them. Everyone is different, and that’s okay.

Ensure children know how to use period products to stop blood getting on their underwear, clothes and bedding. But make sure they know that occasional accidents can happen and it’s nothing to worry about or be ashamed of.

Make sure children know how often they can expect their periods to occur and how long for. Also tell them about how they might feel – both physically and emotionally – at different times of the month. They may have spots, feel bloated or tearful for no apparent reason. Let them know this is all normal.

For any physical discomfort make sure they are able to ask for help and to receive anything that will help - painkillers, wheat bags, hot water bottles. Or if they’re at school, they can spend some quiet time in the sick bay.

Educate them about the social rules around periods – that is, there are times when it’s okay to talk about your period, and other times when it’s less acceptable. For example, they can usually talk about periods with their friends, but it’s best not to tell the school bus driver or the postman.

Finally, let your child know that lots of things can seem scary or overwhelming when they first happen, but after a while, they become no big deal – periods are no different.

For a lived perspective on what it is to be disabled and having to deal with periods click here.

 Some books and resources on neurodivergency and menstruation do not take into consideration the high rate of gender non-conformity, gender indifference, and gender variance in neurodivergent children. This may mean the books available follow a gender binary that may not be suitable for your neurodivergent child. 

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