Getting the necessary equipment together is an important part of toilet training.** **Every child’s needs will differ, but the following items are likely to come in handy.

A potty that can be placed progressively closer to the toilet, so that your child knows that is where they need to go when they want to do a wee or a poo. Sometimes if your child is too big for an ordinary potty, you will need an adult-sized camping potty.

Child-friendly books about toileting that you can read together with your child, so that they know all about the process in advance.

Child-friendly toilet seats, which can be placed on the toilet so that your child doesn’t feel in danger of falling in.

A footstool, that also helps your child feel comfortable and secure while sitting on the toilet.

If your child responds to visual clues, pictures and cue-cards that explain the process can be very helpful.

A favourite toy or book that can be placed in the toilet, helping to make toileting fun. The toy can even ‘model’ how to go to wee or poo correctly in the toilet, for your child.

A sticker chart, or other toileting rewards – though experts differ on how effective these may be in the long term. It will be up to you to decide if you think this is an appropriate strategy to use for their child.

**Helpful websites:**

-   [Continence New Zealand](https://www.continence.org.nz/)
-   [The Children’s Bowel and Bladder Charity](https://eric.org.uk/)
-   [Toilet training your child - Plunket](https://www.plunket.org.nz/caring-for-your-child/hygiene-and-daily-care/poos-nappies-and-toilet/toilet-training-your-child/)
-   [The 4 Most Common Potty Training Methods - Kiwi Families](https://www.kiwifamilies.co.nz/articles/4-most-common-potty-training-methods/)
-   [Toilet training | Ministry of Health NZ](https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/pregnancy-and-kids/under-fives/helpful-advice-years-1-5/toilet-training)




A child holds two toilet rolls over their eyes 

What does your child need for toilet training?

What do I buy for toilet training? What does my child need for toilet training? Toilet training list of essentials 

School teachers are used to helping new entrants get to the toilet on time and dealing with the occasional toileting accident. But some children will need assistance well past their first few months at school. It is important that this issue is dealt with in a sensitive and comprehensive way.

Hopefully, this guide will give you some tips and advice on supporting your child if they’re starting school without being fully toilet trained.

## **What should schools be doing?**

Schools have a duty of care to their pupils, and all children should be able to use school toilets comfortably and easily, including children with disabilities.

This means that school toilets should be well-maintained and easy to use. Cubicle locks need to be child-friendly and fully functional, as well as taps, flushes and cisterns. If toilets are dirty, unappealing and in bad order, children will be reluctant to use school toilets. Tour the toilets to make sure they’re clean and accessible.

Children should not be denied access to toilets during class time. This can cause all sorts of problems, including soiling and wetting accidents, withholding, which may lead to constipation; urinary tract infections; dehydration; lack of concentration; poor school performance, and anxiety. Check with your child’s school that your child can use the toilet at any time and make sure your child knows this is the case.

While not all schools will have a specific toileting policy, umbrella policies such as a health, safety and wellbeing policy will apply. Policies are likely to include reference to individual care plans and IEPs for some children, to be worked out in conjunction with parents and teaching staff.

The **[Ministry of Education’s School High Health Needs Fund](https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/school-high-health-needs-fund/)** allows schools to employ teacher aides for children needing extra assistance, for example, for toileting needs.

## **What should parents do?**

Go online and check to see whether your child’s school has a specific toileting policy, as mentioned above. This will flag any issues you may need to raise with the school, prior to your child starting there.

Let the school know about specific toileting issues when you enrol your child. Or if your child develops a problem at school, let them know as soon as you can.

Arrange a meeting with your child’s teacher to discuss appropriate strategies to help your child achieve toileting success. Many children are embarrassed or worried about interrupting their teacher during class-time. One strategy is to have a pre-arranged system, such as a toilet signal, or a magnet that can be put on a whiteboard, that would let the teacher know what your child is doing without disrupting class time.

Find out if your child may be eligible for teacher aide assistance, from the **[Ministry of Education’s School High Health Needs Fund](https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/school-high-health-needs-fund/)**[.](https://www.education.govt.nz/school/student-support/special-education/school-high-health-needs-fund/)

Don’t hesitate to discuss any red flag issues with your school, such as locked toilets during class time, or badly maintained toilets, or a reluctance to develop individualised toileting plans to meet specific children’s needs. New Zealand schools have a duty under the** Education and Training Act 2020** to be as inclusive as possible, which includes ensuring all children can access toilets appropriately.

## **Toilet Etiquette, Boundaries and Safety**

When at school your child will often use the toilet at the same time as other children. It is important therefore, that as early as possible, children learn appropriate behaviour while using public facilities, including at school, in the park or in a shop.

Some children need to have consistent daily reminders about the difference between public and private activities. For example, if a child needs to do a poo, they should do so with the door shut in a toilet cubicle by themselves, or with a member of teaching staff to assist them. If a child is using the urinal, they should know basic rules around modesty, that is not looking or commenting on other children’s genitals, and only dropping your trousers as far as they need to go – not to the toilet floor.

All children of all genders, especially when using toilets shared by adults, should be reminded not to talk to strangers in the toilet. If anyone using the toilet _does _make them feel uncomfortable in any way, they should leave and find an adult they trust to tell them about it immediately.

Finally, remind children how important it is to stay safe and healthy, that they wash their hands well after every trip to the toilet.

Toileting can be a complex issue – for more information check out our article _Toilet Training for Children with Special Needs_ and _How to Help Your Neurodiverse Child Master the Toileting Challenge_. You can also contact the **IHC Library** **on 0800 442 442 or email:librarian@ihc.org.n**z to learn more about any of the resources listed below.


My child is starting school but they’re not toilet trained - what should I do?

Everything you need to know about toileting and starting school. How do I toilet train for school? Help my child is in nappies for school.

Children with Down Syndrome face particular challenges when it comes to toileting. These can be physical, behavioural, and cognitive. But with a gradual, consistent approach, backed up by positive, creative encouragement, your child will get there.

Devising a toilet plan for your child requires parents to consider their particular strengths and challenges. Some of the more common challenges and strategies to overcome are listed below. For detailed advice on how to gather the data, create the plan and implement it, check out our other posts about toileting.

### **Common Physical challenges:**
- Delays in motor control and gross motor skill development.
- Low muscle tone.
- Constipation due to medical conditions.
- Constipation due to physical inactivity or dietary issues.
- Celiac disease.
- Difficulties with sitting on the toilet seat and wiping, due to shorter stature and shorter arms.
- Delays in fine motor skills – e.g., ability to undo buttons and zips.

### **These tips might help...**
- Be patient and allow for your child to take longer to reach physical milestones.
- Short stature and limbs can be accommodated by adjusting the toileting environment based on an occupational therapist’s recommendations – for example, installing a bar that helps your child with stability and balance. A foot stool will also help.
- To allow for difficulties with fine motor skills put your child in looser clothing and use pants with elastic bands. Wet wipes may be easier to use than toilet paper.
- For constipation caused by medical conditions consult your doctor.
- For constipation caused by dietary issues, consult a dietician, but also make sure your child is well-hydrated and encourage a varied diet.
- Encourage your child to be physically active – make sure they have physical activity breaks throughout the day and incorporate physical tasks into ordinary activities – such as pushing the shopping cart. Being physically active is important for building muscle tone as well as preventing constipation.
- Celiac disease – act on the advice of medical experts.

### **Common Behavioural challenges can include:**

-   Attention span and impulse control difficulties
-   Anxiety over mastering the different steps required for toilet training.
-   Sensory issues
-   Reluctance to change routines.
-   Compliance issues

### **Some tips that might help...**

-   If your child’s low attention span makes toileting difficult, make it an activity they enjoy, such as looking at a book, or playing with a designated ‘toilet toy’. And remember to lavish them with praise for every achievement!
-   If your child seems anxious about toilet training, break it down into smaller steps, and explain what you’re doing and why. Again, praise and reassure them as much as possible.
-   Some children with Down Syndrome have sensory difficulties. If your child does not realise when they are wet or dry, help them to notice the difference. Some children are overly sensitive to certain sounds, smells and sensations. Notice if anything is bothering your child in the toilet, then do what you can to eliminate it, or decrease its effect.
-   If your child is reluctant to change routines, introduce the new routine very slowly. It can be motivating to give them more control with the new routine. Make sure your new routine is more fun than the old one, so if you’re fading out ‘nappy-changing’ make sure it’s as boring and unstimulating as possible!
-   If your child is being particularly non-compliant about toileting, find out what’s behind the behaviour. It may be due to some of the reasons above, they have sensory issues or are constipated which makes it painful to poo. Once you know the reason you can figure out how to solve it.

### **Common Cognitive challenges:**

-   Communication difficulties
-   Difficulties with transferring skills from one context to another
-   Difficulties understanding why and when the toilet should be used.

### **These tips might help...**

-   Remember behaviour is communication. If your child is non-verbal, become attuned to their facial expressions, gestures and whether they show distress or pleasure when on the toilet, use picture cards or sign language, if they are appropriate.
-   Creating a visual schedule, which shows what activities can be done where, will help your child understand how to transfer a skill from one context to the next.
-   Talk your child through what is happening to their body and why, when they’re in the toilet. Engage their curiosity and show them how impressed you are with their achievements.

It can be a good idea to start toilet training around the same time as typically developing children age – that is, between eighteen months and three years of age. But you’re the parent - you know best. In order to start toilet training, a child needs to be able to sit safely and independently on a toilet. Don’t worry if they don’t haven’t passed all the ‘readiness milestones’ too much.

Remember, your child is an individual, so you will know best what motivates them and how to overcome their specific challenges.

Toileting is a complex issue and** IHC Library** and **Awhi Nga Matua** have produced a series on toileting issues. 
For more information give the library a call on** 0800 442 442**, or **email: librarian@ihc.org.nz**.




How to help children with Down Syndrome use the toilet 

Down syndrome toilet training, down syndrome toileting

Children's Bowel and Bladder Charity, Bowel and Bladder Health, Children's Health Support, Parenting Resources, Paediatric Toilet Training, Childhood Incontinence, Paediatric Incontinence Support, Children's Health Education, Child Health Information, Youth Bladder Health, Paediatric Bowel Health, Childhood Toileting Solutions, Early Years Health, Paediatric Incontinence Resources, Family Health Education, Paediatric Health Website

ERIC, the Children's Bowel and Bladder Charity

ERIC provides expert support, information, education and understanding to children, young people and their families, enabling parents, carers and professionals across health, early years and schools to help them establish good bowel and bladder health.

ERIC, the Children's Bowel and Bladder Charity

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