How do I keep my disabled child safe online?

Parents in today’s world know that bullying is no longer confined to the schoolyard or the local playground. If your child has access to a smart phone or can access the Internet at home or at school, then they’re at risk of being bullied online, scammed or preyed upon. If your child has a disability - be it an intellectual disability, or a neurodivergent condition such as autism - they can be especially vulnerable to these types of online abuses.

Children with disabilities sometimes do not have well-developed communication skills and have difficulty gauging or understanding other people’s intentions - problems which are amplified online.

It can be exciting for children, especially for those who have experienced social isolation, when a stranger wants to ‘friend’ them, follow them or simply communicate with them, and awareness of ‘stranger danger’ goes out the window.

But, as a recent Australian study notes, for many people with disabilities, having access to the Internet can eliminate barriers and make life richer and more expansive. For some children, going online is an important way of interacting with the world, without judgement or bias. A virtual community can be a place for children and young people to explore their identities, make friends and connect over common interests, even if they live in different hemispheres.

The trick then, is to ensure children with disabilities have safe, empowering experiences online.

As well as the top tips listed below, IHC Library and Awhi Nga Matua have more resources for you to access, listed at the end of this post. Or if you prefer, give us a call on 0800 442 442 or email us at librarian@ihc.org.nz.

The good news for parents of children with disabilities, is that the key to keeping them safe is exactly the same as it is for other parents. Do your best to be involved in your child’s online life, and encourage regular open and friendly conversations about their favourite websites, online games, how they use their devices and who they meet up with on the Internet. As one parent of a neurodivergent child put it, ‘no computer program can guarantee to safeguard your child (from internet harm) but there is no substitute for a parent who has open eyes and ears and an open heart’. *2

And if you’re worried that you, as a parent, are not that tech-savvy, just remember that you’re already ahead of the game if your child is prepared to talk to you about what they do online, or even better, show you what they do online. The next step is easy, just remind them that what is unacceptable behaviour when they’re at school or playing with their siblings, is also not okay online. That means no name-calling, embarrassing others, inappropriate sharing of information or images. Check in regularly with your child to see if anything has changed in their online behaviour and whether there’s anything going on you need to be concerned about.

Top tips for adults to keep in mind:

• Have an online safety policy at home that your child understands. If you think it’s appropriate, write it out and get your child to sign it.
• Be alert to your child seeming upset after using the Internet or their phone.
• Check that any environment where your child has access to the Internet has a cyber-safety policy, whether that’s a childcare facility, their school or the local library.
• Consider where your child uses the computer at home – it is harder to know what’s going on if your child is online in their bedroom with the door shut!
• Use parental controls on computers and keep passwords safe so children cannot get on to inappropriate sites.
• Use the online tools to limit your child’s profile so that only accepted friends can view content. Use in-built security features to monitor online activity, or consider purchasing an app.
• All children need to be aware that there are real consequences to their online behaviour.
• Equally children need to be aware that once something is shared online, they could lose control over who sees it and how many people see it.
• Let your child know they should tell you if any online interaction or content makes them feel icky, embarrassed or scared online.

Top tips for children to know:

• Never share user names or passwords.
• Never give personal details about yourself, family or friends to people online’
• Consider the consequences of your posts, chats or texts
• Never say things you know your parents wouldn’t approve of, even as a joke
• Don’t become friends with strangers.
• Immediately tell an adult you trust if you think you are the target of cyberbullying or cybercrimes.

Resources for kids

On the internet :

On the internet :

On the Internet: Our First Talk About Online Safety introduces...

On the Internet: Our First...

The Asperger children's toolkit

The Asperger children's toolkit

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"Growing up with Asperger...

The Asperger children's toolkit

The Asperger children's toolkit

"Growing up with Asperger Syndrome (AS) can throw up all sorts of...

"Growing up with Asperger...

The Asperger Teen's Toolkit

The Asperger Teen's Toolkit

With minimal text and fun, comic book style graphics, this is a...

With minimal text and fun,...

The Asperger teen's toolkit /

The Asperger teen's toolkit /

Dealing with the everyday realities facing teens with Asperger...

Dealing with the everyday...

Awhi Ngā Mātua

This article has been developed by Awhi Ngā Mātua with research support from the IHC library.